French Braid
by ejzah
Summary: "Ok," she said softly. "But you're not allowed to use anything with blades or heat." Set in season 8, sometime after "Glasnost", when Kensi is still working to regain full function in her left hand.


A/N: Set in season 8, sometime after "Glasnost", when Kensi still has greatly reduced function in her left hand. A Densi one-shot with some comfort, a little romance and some angst of course.

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French Braid

She slipped her left hand–claw, her brain amended helpfully– beneath the portion of hair she'd separated out. Pulling in a deep breath, Kensi gathered the middle section with her other hand and slowly attempted to slide in beneath the hair in her left hand. She bit her lip as she concentrated, focusing the way she normally did when preparing for a long-distance shot.

Normally, something as simple as braiding her hair took minimal thought and effort. Of course, if things were normal she wouldn't currently need a chair in the bathroom because standing for long periods of time was still impossible and she wouldn't have reduced gross and fine motor skills in her left hand. Normal would be throwing her hair back in a matter of minutes and beating Deeks down to the kitchen with ten minutes to spare.

Kensi made a disgusted noise in the back of her throat as she tilted her head to the side and attempted to get a better look in the mirror at what the hell her fingers where doing. It was a horrifying sensation to not have complete control over parts of her body and even more so when said body parts didn't listen to her commands.

A tiny smile twisted her lips as she managed to crisscross the two bunches of hair once and then painstakingly, she moved to the right side. She was sure there were lumps and stray hairs sticking out everywhere, but Kensi still felt a strange pride. She braided two more sections, her left hand shaking more with every second, even though it was mainly supporting her hair while the other hand did all the work.

"Come on, Kensi," she muttered to herself, willing her broken body to persevere for just a little longer. Despite her begging, she felt her hand seize up and curl farther into itself, allowing the hair it held to slip free. Immediately, the last few sections unraveled and Kensi couldn't stop a quiet sob from escaping as she watched all her hard work go to waste.

"Hey, I'm running out to get some orange juice, you need anything?" Kensi hastily wiped at her eyes, as Deeks' voice traveled through their bedroom towards her. The last thing she needed was for him to find her crying in the bathroom. He'd already witnessed enough of her weaknesses in the last couple months.

She brushed her hands over her face a couple more times and kept her head lowered as Deeks walked in.

"Um, no I don't need anything," she answered quickly. Her voice sounded off; nasally, but hopefully Deeks wouldn't notice.

"Ok," he said slowly and Kensi quietly willed him to just leave. Let her stew in her own misery. "Hey, baby, is everything ok? Cause you've been in here for a really long time." Another tear escaped at Deeks' unintentional reminder of everything she couldn't do.

"I'm fine," she forced out and this time her voice wasn't anywhere close to normal. She could almost feel Deeks' concern as he hesitantly stepped farther into the room.

"Kensi, what's the matter? Are you in pain? Do you need more medication or should I call the doctor?" he rattled off, his voice headed towards panic with each question. Kensi desperately wanted to look at him, to reassure him with a single glance but she couldn't. Finally, Deeks' concern won out and he came up behind her. She could feel the familiar warmth coming off his body and a small shudder ran through her when he carefully rested his hand on her shoulder.

Belatedly, she realized that Deeks was still waiting for an answer, that he still thought she was dealing with something worse than uncooperative hair. Finally, she gathered the courage to glance at him briefly, long enough to see the unguarded concern in his eyes.

"I'm…no, I'm not in pain. I just…" She gestured uselessly around her to the bottles of hair product and hair ties that littered the counter and back to her unrestrained hair. "I can't do it, Deeks. I tried so…hard. And I can't do it."

Deeks' hand tensed on her shoulder and then he slid it up until he cupped her chin in his palm. With the same gentleness, he turned her face towards him. Kensi squeezed her eyes shut, several more tears leaking out as another sob worked its way up her chest.

"Oh baby," Deeks whispered softly. The pads of his fingers brushed at her damp cheeks and Kensi opened her eyes to see him looking down at her with love and concern, a familiar expression these days. "Do you trust me?" he asked quietly and Kensi nodded immediately.

"Always." Deeks caressed her cheek once more and then straightened, moving around to the back of the chair. Kensi watched him, her curiosity momentarily distracting her as he positioned her head. He met her eyes in the mirror.

"Remember, you trust me," he reminded her, reaching for a hairbrush. Kensi's eyes widened and she stiffened, pulling back slightly.

"Deeks, I don't know if–" she started, remembering the few times since they started dating that she'd allowed him to braid her hair while they watched TV. Her hair had turned out lumpy and uneven, but she'd enjoyed the novelty of it all. This was different though; then she'd been able to laugh at Deeks' mistakes and re-braid it herself.

Now, the thought made her feel even more vulnerable and needy. She was sick of having to let people do things for her.

"Don't worry, I watched a tutorial. I'm a lot better at this than the last time I did it," Deeks said reassuringly. He didn't touch her hair though. Instead, with one warm palm at the base of her neck and the hairbrush held aloft, he waited for her to give consent.

"Ok," she said softly. "But you're not allowed to use anything with blades or heat." Deeks laughed; it was the breathy kind that let her know she'd caught him by surprise.

"Fair enough," he agreed, gathering the bulk of her hair in one hand and bringing the hairbrush to the top of her head. Slowly, he ran it through her hair from top to bottom, easing through the new snarls and tangles Kensi had created.

After a few minutes of tension, Kensi found herself relaxing, soothed as Deeks found a gentle, steady rhythm. A glance in the mirror showed him deeply focused on his task, his lip caught between his teeth, Kensi felt a sharp pricking at the back of her eyes as she watched him. He'd already stood by her through so much and here he was doing even more. She knew she was two seconds from breaking down again so she cast around for something to distract her.

"What do you think Sam and Callen would say if they found out you were braiding hair?" she asked as Deeks combed the hair back from her forehead and separated the top part into three sections.

"Mmm, I figure Sam probably did Kamran's hair a few times when she was younger. Can't you just see him breaking out the hairspray and some pastel butterfly clips while rocking out to some Disney tunes?"

Despite herself, Kensi snorted which made Deeks smile, his expression pleased for a second before he continued twisting her hair around and between his fingers.

"Maybe a little sparkly eyeshadow–"

"Oh god, I'm never going to get that image out of my head," Kensi groaned as she laughed.

"Obviously, Sam would have to double up on the eyeshadow since he can't really use the clips," Deeks continued as though uninterrupted. All the while, his fingers continued to manipulate her hair with only an occasional pause when he needed to adjust something. She wasn't quite sure what he was doing back there, but she was pretty certain it was a lot more complicated than the simple braid she'd been attempting.

"Just so long as you don't use any of those things on me."

"No promises," Deeks said with a squinty wink. Slipping a hairband over his wrist, he tugged a few bunches of hair into place then tied of the ends of her hair with a flourish. "All done." He picked up a handheld mirror and handed it to Kensi so she could see his work. There were a few more bumps and stray hairs than normal but she realized she didn't care.

Tossing the mirror on the counter with a loud clatter, she grabbed one of Deeks' belt loops and gave it a downward tug. Deeks willingly sank to his knees beside her and didn't resist when she turned and pulled him against her with one arm. He looped his own arms tightly around her as she sank into his warmth. Easing back slightly, she trailed her finger up his back and into his hair, pulling him down so she could kiss him.

"Thank you," she whispered against his lips, feeling a simultaneous sense of calm and the insane desire to cry, once again. "I wish I didn't have to keep relying on you so much. And that I wasn't such a mess all the time."

"Baby, I swear I don't mind," Deeks insisted. Kensi knew he meant it, but that didn't stop her from fearing that one day it would be too much. She would be too needy and take more than he could give.

"I just feel so useless," she said and Deeks' eyes softened. He deliberately gathered Kensi's hands in his, his expression earnest and maybe a little desperate.

"You're not. You've come so far already. And Kensi, when I said I'd be here for you, I meant it. It doesn't matter what it is you need, I'll be here. I'll be here every step of the way to help you or just be there as you figure it out yourself. Doesn't matter if it's fixing your hair or learning to fire a gun again. I'm here, always. Ok?"

"Ok," Kensi whispered back, allowing him to pull her against his shoulder. She buried her nose in Deeks' neck, breathing in his scent. They stayed there embracing on the floor for several minutes until Deeks shifted against her, his nose brushing her collar bone.

"Promise me you won't give up," he murmured, his voice trembling and slightly hoarse. There was a vulnerability there that she hadn't expected and it stunned her for a moment. She forgot sometimes that he was just as terrified and unsure as she was, despite his best efforts to hide it.

"I promise," she said, infusing the words with every ounce of sincerity she could. She felt Deeks sigh into her neck and she slipped her fingers into his hair, comforting both of them at once with the familiar gesture.

Maybe they were both, a little broken and damaged, but at least they had each other, and for the moment that was enough.

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A/N: I'd just like to note that any negatives thoughts in this fic regarding Kensi's injuries/potential disabilities don't reflect my personal views, but rather how she was portrayed throughout her recovery.


End file.
